Iran?s new enemy is children. The head of their National Security Council said it himself : ?The Islamic Republic is powerful and will not allow a bunch of little children to disrupt anything.?

Let me back up. I?ve been unfair ? he?s being loose in his use of the word. Student editors, petitioners, middle-class professors, Iranian-Americans, satellite television hypnotists: they?re children too. Really it?s anyone whose rendition of a cultural revolution includes an Ph.D and a channel called MTV.

And like any strong, reprimanding parent, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has made it clear to these children that the things which he wasn?t raised with will not stand, as long as you?re under his roof. In this next cereal-box teaser, see how many Western values you can find in the dunce?s corner?: Internet-happy petitioners for women?s rights have been jailed, visiting Iran-American scholars have been thrown to the dogs at Evin detention center, young men in muscle-tees are being fed bathroom products for everyone to see.

From the Peanut Gallery: We cain?t let this stand! They?re undoin? everything good we?ve given ?em. Way I was raised, I was practically protesting in my diapers. Is that Mahmood fella telling me I wasn?t raised right? I?ll tell you, what he?s doin? over there, it?s child abuse, or something. And that ain?t right, doggone it. A man can wear muscle tees if he wants to. Says so in the bill of rights. Ever hear of the bill of rights, Mahmood? Yeah, well we wrote it. And it says children have minds too, you hear? Even those scholarly children of yours. And them media ones, too. Minds. All of ‘em.

In this country, our kids can wear whatever they want. And they can say what they want, too. Well, just as long they?re not talking about BONG HiTS 4 JESUS. He wouldn’t approve of that stuff.