brownistan.com

Photographical Warfare

As it turns out, while color-coded fear charts decide which of Crayola’s specialty crayons to choose, Iran’s busy with its own arts and crafts project.

Two days after launching highly provocative missile test, Iran has been caught broadcasting what appear to be two different photos from the exact same vantage point, taken at the exact same time. The first shows 4 missiles, and was published in America’s top newspapers — the New York Times, LA Times, Chicago Tribune. The second, released a few hours later, shows 3 missiles and a dud in the middle who seems to be suffering from a little performance anxiety.

We may not be able to get it up, but we can get down with Photoshop.

NYT - In Iranian Image, A Missile Too Many

By Ashwin Sodhi, Thu Jul 10, 0 Comment.

Why India’s Gays Have it Coming

Everyday, around mid-afternoon, a current of neatly dressed school boys pour over the sidewalks of New Delhi, Mumbai, Calcutta. Groups of friends stay close to each other, playing affectionately. Some have their arms around each other’s waists, others in each other’s hair, and still others with their hands clasped, fingers laced between fingers.

Grown men around them, too, are laughing and singing and swinging their locked arms like they’re on stage at the Birdcage.

Yeh dosti hum nahi chorenghe.

There is no audience, nobody stares and nobody whispers. This is normal. This is called dosti, friendship, and it is nothing more than a heterosexual expression of male bonding. Straight as an arrow.

Except, of course, if you’re gay. Then, its a sort of crooked and clandestine enjoyment taking place behind the opaque veil of socially acceptable touching.

Either way, it flies; one of the few remnants of a culture whose definitions of masculinity, affection and sexuality predate the prevailing, parochial notions of the 20th and 21st centuries.

Dammed up in the years since the British came and left, that ancient culture is finally resurfacing. And they’re not just holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

For the first time in its history, India celebrated Gay Pride Week with a series of parades across several major cities. Transgender hijras joined ranks with masked men and lesbians, marching in front of millions, hoping to bring a culture out of hibernation.

The London-based Economist saw it as an interesting departure for such a “conservative country.”

Yet historically, India has been a vastly tolerant place for sexual experimentation and homosexuality. Kamasutra aside, ancient Hindu texts and penal codes made similar provisions for hetero- and homosexuals. Both were acknowledged as acceptable forms of intercourse.

It was, in fact, British moral code that transmogrified that tradition. Indian Penal Code, Section 377, implemented under British rule, states:

Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment…

Today, that very code is being fought, one day to be stricken from the record and washed over by welled-up ancient culture unafraid to intertwine fingers.

Yeh dosti hum nahi chorenghe - This friendship: we will never let go.

By Ashwin Sodhi, Wed Jul 9, Comments (2).

Back by Popular Demand: The Hymen

The French thought they got rid of theirs back in the sixties. All of them, all at once. You know, during that one protest. Remember? The one where thousands of feminists auto-erotically tore their hymens in choral unison, and then punctuated it with that unforgettable image of a thousand dainty hands raised in blood-dripping “V”s.

V-day for the V.J.! (That means “Victory for the Vagina,” you brownie-to-be…)

Or so they thought. The New York Times, of course, has got news for them. Hymens are baaack — with a vengeance, too.

Along with those offensive Turks banging at the E.U. gates and those Mohammed-loving Danes who still can’t seem to take a joke, a deluge of “ethnic” hymens are welled up at the levees of Europe, and they’re threatening to soak the entire continent in, you guessed it, blessed virginal blood! Ooooh! Just in time for summer!

Here’s the skinny: French courts recently allowed a man to annul his marriage based on an absent hymen, and it’s sent a current through the country. On one side, Muslim women are running around the country getting their writs and “repairs” (you remember, nah Brownies? We’ve been through this already…), while on the other, French feminists are hot and bothered about the renewed attention bestowed upon that castaway membrane they thought they ditched back there with Robespierre and his guillotine.

Check out the link below… But first, a little taste from the man who’s church blessed the marriage in the first place:

The man [who filed for divorce] is the biggest of all the donkeys. Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness.
–Abdelkibir Errami, Vice President of the Islamic Center of Roubaix

NY Times: Operation Lets Muslim Women Reclaim Virginity

By Ashwin Sodhi, Tue Jun 10, 0 Comment.

Viral YouTube Will Not Infect Pakistan

It was just months ago that Pakistan’s emergency government shut down outlets of traditional media — TV channels, newspapers, magazines, but only few internet resources — in hopes of controlling a brewing public opinion that the government needed to be checked. In a more recent crack down, they appear to have gotten the memo about Web 2.0.

Today, the Pakistani Telecommunications Authority forced all internet service providers in the country to block access to YouTube.com indefinitely because of the recent posting of blasphemous content that might offend strict Muslims.

Several reports cited the anti-Islamic and “viral” nature of some content as the motivation behind the mandate. Purportedly, users had become increasingly upset by the resurgence of the incendiary Danish Mohammad cartoons, as well as a Dutch legislator’s exclusive movie promising to smoke out the infiltration of Muslim values in Dutch culture.

But it was unclear whether the government response was meant to appease citizens threatening public backlash or whether it was taking ation to preempt the deterioration of their faith. There were, of course, no illuminating user-generated opinions broadcast on YouTube.

BBC - Pakistan Blocks YouTube Website
YouTube - Mohammad Cartoons

By Ashwin Sodhi, Sun Feb 24, 0 Comment.

Kamasutra Makes Sex with Prostitutes Safer

Twenty years ago, 90% of doctors in India didn’t know what AIDS stood for. Today, several NGOs are well on their way to spreading the word, hoping to chase out the spread of the epidemic.

The Pleasure Project, in conjunction with the Instititute of International Social Development, is taking a somewhat unorthodox approach. Since the game of preaching safe sex is all about how many ears you can tease, they’ve decided to bringing sexy back.

When they spoke at the most recent International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific, they bared it all, and most definitely perked everyone up. Things started off with the slow sounds of smooth jazz, but when the moans crept in, it was inevitable what mirchi was to follow. Lo and behold, as the backdrop to their academic treatise they chose porn, projected in majestic proportion.

After sights like these, it was no surprise that when it came to educating prostitutes on safe sex, the Pleasure Project wasn’t evening thinking of whipping out the cucumbers and teaching these ladies the old pinch-and-roll.

No, apparently, these folk aren’t afraid of getting down and dirty, digging up India’s rich and voluptuous past — in the form of the Kama Sutra. In an effort to decrease the amount of sexual partners these prostitutes keep — but with full understanding that a girl (or guy) has gotta make a buck — they’re offering classes on practicing safe sex, using kamasutra.

“[The prostitutes] are specifically taught foreplay and other poses that will give men a high degree of pleasure,” chief of IISD Rajyashree Choudhury told BBC.

And, thanks to 2,000 years of horny yet scholarly Indians, that pleasure doesn’t have to come with pain.

“We teach the girls the art of ensuring a premature but very satisfying discharge,” assured Choudhury. “The Kama Sutra is a treasure house for all that.”

IPS - Sexing up Safe Sex to Limit HIV Spread
BBC - Kama Sutra Guide to Safe Sex
The Pleasure Project

By Ashwin Sodhi, Thu Feb 21, 0 Comment.

Two Taliban Fighters on their Endless War

From Afghanistan, a father and a son tell of a life spent masquerading behind whichever ideology had the most guns. Whether it was the Russians offensive, the Taliban insurgence or the U.S. occupation, they’ve adapted as necessary.

“It [is] a bit like supporting a team,” the father, Malik, says.

Where war is concerned, they’ve played many different parts — renaissance men of sorts. Today, they’re members of the Taliban, but they reveal no sentiments one way or another about their cause. Their only mentions of Jihad sound more like discussion of what color camouflage they’re wearing these days.

The refrain they both repeated:

My entire life I’ve been fighting. I’m ready for peace…

The Guardian Weekly: ‘We Have Lost Everything’

By Ashwin Sodhi, Tue Feb 19, 0 Comment.

Egyptian Commercials: Waa-waa-wee-wa!

Picture this: Two men are not getting along. One has the other hoisted over his shoulders.

Enter: black-haired beauty. Frame by aching frame, she bounces to the scene. Her jogging bosom tenderizes the tension. Both men freeze. As she arrives, she leaps slightly into the air… and when she lands, her breasts ripple and blur the… umm, I don’t remember… whatever was, you know, happening.

Suddenly, hoisted man is dropped by said perpetrator. And, for that moment, everybody is happy.

I know, sounds an awful lot like a rerun of Baywatch. Never fear, Brownistan wouldn’t Hasselhoff you like that. It’s actually a commercial for Egyptian media company Melody Entertainment.

If this seems like an exception to you, if this doesn’t fit into your baklava box of what to expect from syndicated Arab content, fair enough. I was caught off guard, too. It’s supposed to be hijabs and burkas and those poor, repressed Arab women, right?Well, it seems as though their businessmen have learned more than a thing or two from our American ads. Money and women — men tend to confuse their desires for both quite easily.

Check out how nearly identical these two Pepsi ads are:

Pepsi, U.S. - Eva Longoria
Pepsi, Egypt - Haifa Wehbe - Waa-wa-wee-wa!

Both illustrate this iconic Western woman who unveils her body but masks her mind. She can pass you flowers and brighten your day, and, by Allah, she can cool you off a bit. She’s distilled for her ability to please, physically.

For the rest of the world that still insists on being mentally active: too bad. This is the raw deal. Don’t worry, you’re gonna getting it, but with an added 54 grams of sugar…

By Ashwin Sodhi, Mon Feb 11, 0 Comment.

Qaeda Youth: Boys being boys…

Al-Qaeda propaganda videos surfaced today, apparently telling the story of a desperate terrorist organization. Following in the vein of Monday’s statement that Iraq’s most recent suicide bombers had Down Syndrome, bombastic little boys are shown shrouded in masks, training to be terrorists in Diyalah, Iraq.

They are smaller than the rocket launchers and AK-47s they drag with them. But they are not slowed by their heavy machinery. Their nine and ten and eleven year old legs serve them well. Naturally, they strap on suicide vests, halt cars, apprehend and interrogate passengers, press pistols against their heads, yip war cries and finish off the day’s work with a prayer.

There you have it — a day in the life of an Iraqi kid. American authorities suggest that al-Qaeda recorded the footage so that it could be circulated amongst other Iraqi children who might be easily influenced. You know, make it viral…

But, since US forces intercepted the video on December 4th during a successful hit mission, our generals have decided to spread the message elsewhere. Earlier today, it was screened for the American press. Coincidentally (or perhaps because of its very viral nature), it was also was broadcast around the very same time today on Saudi TV network Al Arabiya.

By Ashwin Sodhi, Wed Feb 6, 0 Comment.

Saudi’s Bending Like Beckam For the Olympics

“Allah” said women couldn’t play soccer. And for centuries, his people listened.

But this Allah (or whoever does the talking for him) doesn’t sit on the International Olympic Committee. And the IOC mandated that any country wishing to participate in its games must be compliant with certain standards by 2010. One of the standards: all member states must set up women’s sports clubs.

Saudis like their soccer. Their men are pretty good at it, actually. So they’re going through the motions. They’ve set up women’s clubs over the past year, and they’re growing. Just last week, the country held its first women’s soccer game at Prince Mohammad Bin Fahd University campus in front of a large number of female fans. No men were allowed. The referee staff was entirely female. The game ended in a tie, 2-2.

And that’s how Saudi appeased the IOC. But, makes you wonder, this IOC… did they just twist the arm of Allah or what? It’s not the first time they’ve done such a thing, either. Just last year, they got Mao to do political jumping jacks. After China announced it would host the Beijing Summer Olympics, threats of a boycott coaxed the world’s fastest growing economy to scale back their oil interests with stiff-armed Sudanese power-mongers.

IOC, IOC, you’re the man, if the U.N. can’t do it, surely you can!

By Ashwin Sodhi, Sat Feb 2, 0 Comment.

Older Posts »

NEWS 02.08.10

French courts reversed a controversial ruling?that allowed a husband to divorce his wife because she lied about her virginity.

December 00, 0000

Martyrdom videos were released to the British courts responsible for trying 8 thwarted suicide bombers. They cast little doubt of their innocence, and all but cement their view of human life as religious currency.

April 04, 2008

One thousand missing bodies, many of them civilians who disappeared while under police custody, are being uncovered by villagers at the border between Pakistan and Indian-controlled Kashmir. Human rights groups are demanding they be identified.

April 01, 2008

Pakistan lifts ban on YouTube after coding bug interfered with users accessing the site outside of the Islamic state.

February 26, 2008

Absolute power continued ebbing from Pakistan's Gen. Musharraf. Monday's elections marked a peaceful departure from his party and the religious extremists vying for power; two secular parties were the big winners. In stark contrast to his usual smoke-and-mirrors rhetoric, Musharraf accepted the defeat graciously.

February 20, 2008

As electioneering heats up in Pakistan, the death toll rises. Forty-seven supporters of the late-Benazir Bhutto's party were killed by a car bomb on Saturday. With rumors of election rigging, all sides go obdurately to the polls on Monday.

February 16, 2008

Deadliest attack since 2001 kills over 80 bystanders near a dog fight in Kandahar, Afghanistan.

February 17, 2008

One of America's Most Wanted killed in Syria. U.S. spokesman says the world is a better place without the Hezbollah mastermind, while the organization claims to have suffered a terrorist attack from Israel.

February 14, 2008

Six Guantanamo detainees with direct links to the attacks on 9/11 will be tried in the same way any American soldier would be: innocent until proven guilty.

February 11, 2008

An Archbishop in England who suggested that aspects of Sharia law will need to be incorporated in the country's changing moral fabric is met with harsh resistance from the "other fundamentalists."

February 11, 2008

Eight gay Egyptian men forcefully tested for HIV, accused of habitual debauchery, then criminalized and handcuffed to their prison beds for being gay.

February 07, 2008

In most recent bombing, terrorists are suspected of using two women with Down Syndrome to execute the attacks. Death toll reaches 91.

February 02, 2008

Pakistan acquiesces to "extremists," freeing 250 school children and teachers from a hostage situation by promising not to prosecute those responsible. Concerns of who controls the country's infrastructure abound.

January 28, 2008

Ideological Warfare: Pakistani moderate Benazir Bhutto assassinated in Rawalpindi. She had resigned hope for making real changes in elections this January, but it begs the question: Despite popular support, is it safe for moderate candidates to speak out in Pakistan?

December 27, 2007

Musharraf swears in as civilian President of Pakistan, promises end to emergency rule on Dec 16 and hold elections on Jan 8. Judging by an editorial in the Daily Times of Pakistan discussing the needed shift in Musharraf's responsibilities, the emergency strangle on the press is already loosening.

November 29, 2007

Schism: An iranian Newspaper finally erupts with backlogged discontent, criticizing Ahmadinejad for preaching "baseless allegations" and causing ill-founded "public anxiety."

November 21, 2007

Bangladeshi Cyclone toll hits 3,000. The seasonal tropical storm continues a long and disastrous lineage in the developing country.? A 1970 cyclone killed half a million people.

November 19, 2007

Apparently, Sadaam and Osama weren't enough to teach us a lesson on putting arms into the hands of dissidents. We're now considering enlisting Pakistani tribes to fight in the "war of terror."

November 19, 2007

Musharraf to retire his military uniform in favor of civilian leadership by the end of November.

November 15, 2007

More than 40 Afghanis Dead after another suicide bomb exploded in a Sugar factory targeting visiting politicians. Children who came to greet the democratic leaders were among the limbs and blood that littered the street.

November 06, 2007

Pakistan and its Constitution are frozen by Musharraf's questionable "Emergency Rule"

November 04, 2007

Progress or Politicking: Than Shwe, the leader of Burma's oppressive junta, said he would be willing to meet with marginalized democratic leader Aung San Suu Kyi, but he has his conditions.

October 06, 2007

With Burmese Monks gaining momentum, the military regime looks for ways to stand it their way. But they've only got 2 weapons: guns and money. And so far, money hasn't worked.

September 24, 2007

Bangladeshi students protest the meddling behavior of on-campus Army forces during Emergency government - more than 100 are injured in symbolic fight for educational autonomy. Meanwhile, US students continue to win a downhill battle against unarmed on-campus recruiters.

August 20, 2007

South Africa's new economic plan: encourage the kids to pursue careers as PIMPs.

August 17, 2007

Under our Radar: There's a vicious stink coming from the armpit of India, and so far India's government hasn't let it waft too far. But the violence in Manipur is as old as the India nation itself.

August 14, 2007

A Muddled Musharraf finally finds time for Afghanistan's Karzai. Both countries agree to handle the border insurgents with local forces, in hopes of showing NATO the door.

August 13, 2007

Guantanamo half the prison it used to be. The bad news: the other half ain't going away easy, whether we want it to or not.

August 09, 2007

South Africa, the first government to constitutionally guarantee equal rights to gays, is all talk so far. Several lesbians were slain in a women's rights march this week.

August 10, 2007

Tamil Tiger supporters still legally terrorist suspects, but somehow they're also becoming refugees in UK.

August 08, 2007

Guantanamo's days numbered. British release request likely to be obeyed.

August 08, 2007

What's that stink? US base, citing espionage and cultural incompatibility, segregates its toilets.

August 03, 2007

The first scents of defeat have unleashed paranoid suspicions upon even our best Middle Eastern allies. Try as she might have, Rice couldn't repair the Saudi outrage.

August 02, 2007

Iran disregards ongoing pressures from international rights groups, holds public executions for the first time since 2002.

August 02, 2007

US to buy allies, sell Cold War to the Middle East. A new aid package.

July 30, 2007

Bush Regime's continued attack on Free Press. An al-Jazeera cameraman still held at Guantanamo after 5 years.

July 27, 2007

Know Your Enemy: Muslim public opinion evolving; suicide bombings decline sharply.

July 24, 2007

Too many cooks spoiling Iraq's ethnic stew.

July 23, 2007

No closure for Human Rights Watch after UN's self-investigation on abuses in the DR Congo.

July 23, 2007

Female circumcision still a problem amongst Egyptian villagers despite legislation and religious admonishments.

July 21, 2007

Rebel leaders responsible for drugging children into servitude and military service tried as war criminals in Sierra Leone.

July 20, 2007

China quick to kill those that bring bad press.

July 18, 2007

Iranian-Americans still detained as country choreographs their confession.

July 18, 2007

China's response to governmental oversight: FDA chief executed.

July 12, 2007

The casual killing of a Sikh taxi driver in Washington.

July 11, 2007

A history of the Red Mosque and its relevance to Pakistan's schism.

July 11, 2007

Under our Radar: Citing laxness toward Shias, al-Qaeda threatens to bring war to Iran.

July 10, 2007

According to Al Jazeera, the development of a new US Military base in Guam has residents questioning who the terrorists really are.

July 07, 2007

"Enemy" Perspective: An Iranian minster shares interesting views on US neo-conservatives and their effect on democracy.

June 27, 2007

Iran leads the world in executing children.

June 21, 2007

In Sri Lanka, the new Sinhalese government allows disaster to be swallowed either by convenience or by its own complacence.

May 24, 2007

Nirav Sheth: This song is hilarious. So well done, yet funny as anything.

ashwin: It’s fascinating — but it’s just the beginning of the gay movement, so it’ll be...

Rajen: Wow, I’ve always just assumed it was more deeply rooted in the culture. I guess it shows just how little...

igor: http://6589.spreadshirt.com/us /US/Shop/Article/Index/article /846572#top $22.90 Ships within 1-2 business days.

Unsoddevogs: Make peace, not war!

February 2010
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Oct
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28